Since time immemorial, mum had been single-handedly raising all four of us that we’re now having an awfully hard time agreeing to have her entrusted to her choice senior care in California. For the longest time my three sisters and I have been very much dependent on mum and naturally, we would want to return the favor. Problem is mum just wouldn’t come around, insisting that she be placed in a residential care home in California. We all have the feeling she’s just having bouts of old bag syndrome.

There’s nothing wrong about sending your old folks to retirement homes in California as it is no secret to all that you’ll find the best elderly care in California. But why let other people care for your parents when you can do so yourselves, as in our case. All my sisters have offered to take in mum as she could no longer manage living on her own. I myself would’ve volunteered had my ex-husband been of any help with our triplets who are now (terrible) two years of age. Like most of the elder folks, mum’s in denial that age has finally caught up on her. She had us convinced that she was still well-capable of living alone and of maintaining our ancestral home, all the while brushing off arthritis and rheumatism. Well, up until the family doctor informed us of the too-frequent appointments mum’s been having with him.

It is typical of mum to act with such grace even under pressure and furthermore, to deny the obvious. I remember this one time – I was in sixth grade at that time – when she dropped us off at pop’s for the weekend not knowing his nth wedding was being held at his very backyard. Mum was gracious enough to attend the ceremony, giving her sincere wishes to both pop and his barely of legal age wife. Pop brought us back home earlier than scheduled that mum was caught off-guard. Turns out she was having one of her lowest moments, all thanks to the surprise wedding at pop’s, and allowed herself some time to sulk whilst we were away. That was the time my sisters and I made promises to selves that we’d look after mum and never leave her at all costs. We sure held on to that promise with not readily succumbing to her unlikely desire of being sent to some facility for home care in California.

We’re allowing mum to have her low moment in pretending that she’d be sent off to her facility of choice as soon as possible. When we told her we’ve finally made arrangements, there was a noticeable change in her mood – it worsened. I guess we were right about the "turning old bag" theory.