In 1947 Mrs. Edith Thornton McLeod published The Bride's Book, a chronicle of all the expectations of a fiance, bride and new wife. One of the last articles is entitled, Your New Role. It offers motherly advice on how to service your new husband on a daily basis. There are little tidbits like "Get up five minutes earlier, so that you have time to groom yourself properly." and "Most important of all, remember your first daily job as a wife is to start him off with a smile." There is even a pleading statement from Mrs. McLeod to housewives: "...look pretty, please, as you wax and shine and Keep smiling!" How exhausting.

Today, 64 years later, The Bride's Book reads like a recipe for years of harbouring resentment and a dash of house-bound slavery. The housewife was meant to spend the day cleaning, polishing, cooking, and of course planning activities for the couple to do together. The newly married professional woman is advised not to spend too much energy on her "daily stint" and to maintain as much "homemaker and housekeeper" atmosphere as possible (apparently men love it). There was not a single word spoken in McLeod's book about taking care of oneself, having a day away from the home or even a tiny iota of pampering. Perhaps the author meant for young women to find pleasure and reward in their tasks around the home.

At any rate, today's woman is much more likely to take a spa day than those of the previous generation. Valuing oneself as deserving of spa rituals is crucial. The monthly hair appointment doesn't count, by the way. Having your hair done is going to happen anyway, a spa day is a whole body experience. A massage is a wonderful way to start, but if you are too modest for a full body session then just stick with a head and shoulder treatment. Many women choose to do their own manicures and pedicures, but there is something about having a professional do the job that just makes it look and feel better. The pedicure especially seems to come out looking better when done by a nail technician.

For something really satisfying, try a body wrap. A body wrap often involves an aesthetician wrapping your body in strips of linen that have been soaked in a mineral detoxifying solution. The affects are incredible. You skin will have had the toxins drawn out while being hydrated, so it will appear smoother and younger. Some mineral solutions can be adjusted to offer slimming benefits, toning and increased blood circulation. Imagine going to the spa for a day and coming out looking years younger and inches smaller! Surely Mrs. McLeod would not object to a day away from the home then!

Part of a day of pampering is quiet reflection. As managers of the universe, women need to relieve their brains of the noise of life on a regular basis or we will go loopy. It's true. Whether it is the phone or the television or the children or the dogs or the inner voice listing things that need to be done, it has to all stop at least periodically. Regardless of whether it is a part of your spa ritual, schedule time in a quiet place where no one will bother you. Turn the phone to silent, put aside the to-do list, lie back and close your eyes. Just allow yourself to drift into relaxation. Listen to the quiet. Draw the silence in and make it a part of you. If all men and women took the time for quiet reflection, stress would be a lot easier to handle.

In a way Mrs. McLeod had it right, but her perspective was somewhat skewed. Amid all the rules of etiquette, her purpose was for the newly married couple to love each other. She was attempting to train young women to appeal to outdated sensibilities and traditions of the mid-20th century man. What she did not recognise is we are mutually attracted to confidence (among other things). A woman bogged down by duty and housework will value themselves far less than a woman who takes the time for herself. Pampering is essential for every woman so that she will see the value and beauty in herself.