One of the most difficult things for women to understand is the difference between the female libido and the male libido. The brain's wiring for female arousal versus male arousal is as different as night and day or as Venus and Mars as some would say.

Most men are uncomfortable discussing the level and amount of sexual arousal they deal with every day.

Women do a great disservice to their relationships not being aware of and accepting the difference between her female libido and female arousal versus her male partner's libido and arousal.

Ladies if you will give me a few minutes and read on with a desire to understand your partner this information can improve your relationship and appreciation for the man in your life.

You know how when you go to the doctor and he or she takes that little rubber mallet and whacks you on your knee. And your leg automatically jumps. You can tell your leg mentally not to move but when the doctor whacks it, it will move anyway. This is a good thing. It means your reflexes are normal and healthy.

I want you to think of male sexual arousal as your knee. And think of any attractive female visual image as the little rubber mallet.

When a male sees an attractive female image (real life, photo, cartoon, etc.) the mallet whacks his arousal reflex. It's automatic. He can think "Don't be aroused." but it won't matter. He sees an attractive female image and whack goes the mallet and jump goes his sexual arousal reflex.

The more attractive and sexual the image, the harder the whack from the mallet and the bigger the sexual arousal reaction. It's not a character defect and he is not a sexual pervert. It is how males are wired in their brains.

What's important is how he behaves after the arousal reflex is triggered.

Think about the number of sexual arousal reflexes your man must experience each day. Then double or triple that number. I tell you this not to make you suspicious about your man, but I hope to inspire you with appreciation for his loyalty and fidelity to you.

My friend Ginny shared an experience she had that greatly increased her insight and appreciation for her husband's marital devotion and made it clear to her the big difference between female libido and male libido.

Ginny explained how as part of a medical treatment she was undergoing her doctor gave her testosterone injections. The effect on her libido was quite a shock to her. Her level of sexual arousal was so strong she said she had difficulty remembering to take care of her children because she was so distracted by sexual thoughts and urges. The testosterone treatment only lasted for a few days and her libido quickly returned to normal once the testosterone injections ended. The experience gave Ginny tremendous appreciation for her husband's commitment to their marriage.

After her experience with just a few days of male levels of testosterone and male sexual arousal she asked her husband how he managed living with it every day. He told her he channeled his sexual thoughts, sexual desires and arousal towards her.

This experience with artificially elevated testosterone levels gave Ginny great empathy towards her husband and made her realize the importance of being sexually available to him. This insight into the male sex drive helped her understand why her husband needs frequent sex with her and why having an active sex life is important for keeping their marriage strong. Before this Ginny said she had "no clue" as to the big difference between the every day levels of female sexual arousal versus male sexual arousal.