Nurture Your Relationship With Extra Love, Warmth and Passion
- Author Michael Douglas
- Published June 20, 2007
- Word count 640
There's always a certain glow on the face when it's the beginning of a relationship. You do everything possible to please your partner and vice versa. The romantic candlelit dinners, long walks, buying gifts, staying up all night talking and then ... well, doing more than talking! Everything seems so perfect but as time passes by, you find that there's something amiss in your relationship.
There's no spark, no fire left in it. And suddenly one fine day you wake up wondering 'Is the romance dead?' Well don't worry. There are ways to retain those romantic gestures long into the relationship.
Love-grows-deeper
It's true that you may miss those moments when you and your partner used to look into each other's eyes or hold hands. But think about it this way - over time, your relationship has grown deeper, bringing with it trust, comfort, security and the true intimacy that comes from knowing someone so closely. New romance is always exciting, but fleeting. It's important to appreciate the wonderful things that come from time rather than novelty.
Make Time
In this fast paced life there are many commitments that one has to fulfill. But then these were existing even at the beginning of your relationship and you used to manage to take time out for your partner. So that means you can reschedule your plans once again. Take time out for your mate. Perhaps you could forgo your dance class for a day for a candlelit dinner or get up little early in the morning to make breakfast together. Or plan a weekend trip. The point is not to take your relationship for granted. It's as important as your other priorities.
Talk to each other
When you get to know someone you tend to tell them about your life, your aspirations, your secrets and hearing theirs in return. But when you feel you know someone inside-out, you feel there's not much to communicate. Instead, you complain about daily irritations, you focus on the trivial, instead of the meaningful. There's always more to learn about each other. Even discussing current events or asking your partner for their point of view on a problem. Only discussing the surface of your lives leads to estrangement. Eventually, you'll feel like that connection that you had at the beginning has disappeared. Keep asking questions about their life and sharing memories and stories and continue to build on that connection, rather than letting it fade away.
Go the extra mile
It's easy to be lazy in a relationship. You stop saying thank you or saying "I love you". It doesn't take a lot to make a little more effort to be considerate and appreciative, but it's easy to forget how important it is. Remember at the beginning of your relationship when you were so eager to surprise your new lover with a breakfast or a spontaneous little gift? Don't forget that. Pick up a bottle of wine when you know your partner's had a bad day at work, make some soup when they're feeling ill. These kinds of actions will make your partner do the same kind of things for you. Let your mate know that he is still important and worth making an effort for.
Find out what each of you expects
The two of you go into separate rooms and each write down his or her idea of spending quality time with their partner. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Then you can share it.
Keep the fire burning
If your relationship is still important to you, then it will be well worth a little more time and effort. Don't slack off and don't take your partner for granted. Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away.
Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and he provides dating tips for singles and married couples at his website
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