During a fertility treatment there are emotions, lots of emotions. There is hope, because you are creating possibilities, but you also experience anxiety, fear, sadness and so many more. These emotions are a normal part of what you go through during treatment. They are not odd, strange or harmful. They are normal negative emotions. They feel unpleasant, but these feelings correspond to the situation you’re in and they help you deal with everything that’s going on. Suppressing these feelings is counter-productive; expressing them will give you relief and give you space and energy to continue. But we also have abnormal negative emotions. These emotions are often overwhelmingly negative/destructive ones, which are not easy to let go of. They are often associated with physical problems, they sap your energy, are experienced as disruptive to your life, and result in self-harm or dysfunctional behavior. These emotions have a negative effect on your body and mind and need to be addressed. If you are experiencing these feelings ask for immediate professional help.

Recognizing feelings

It’s important to be able to recognize for yourself which feelings are the effective negative emotions, and which are the ineffective negative. With effective negative emotions, just feel them and experience them. Talking about them is very important. Suppressing these feelings is like trying to hold a balloon under water. It takes a toll on your energy, and when you finally get tired and let it go, the balloon pops up again with a bang.

Relaxation

Besides learning to talk about your feelings, and finding someone who really wants to listen and talking to them, it’s also important that you undertake action where you can learn to relax. If you love running, do it. Does your heart prefer yoga, make the time for yoga exercises, do you love reading, or watching a good movie, go for it, just do what relaxes you. Learning to relax is not a guarantee that your fertility treatment will definitely work. But the effect is that you can continue your treatment in a more positive state of mind. Taking the time to relax in times of stress will give you more mental flexibility. And that is so important.

Mental coaching

When people come to me for their first coaching consultation and are under the impression that I have a magic wand that will take away all their anxiety around their fertility treatment, then I say to them: If you are under the impression that consulting me will help you happily breeze through your treatment, you are not at the right address. Going through this treatment will inevitably cause you great anxiety. But I can teach you the right mindset: to accept that it’s exciting but also fraught with anxiety and stress, but, that it is also full of possibilities, that is the best mindset you should hold onto and with which you should enter this treatment program if you want to persevere to the end. It won’t help you to say to yourself all day long: It’s not going to work, it’s going to fail, just to protect yourself from possible disappointment. You also don’t have to be a positive guru, screaming: I know for sure this is going to work. Create and hold onto the mindset: I’m creating more possibilities for success for myself. And that is certainly the truth. You are not fooling yourself in any way.

Go to my website to read more about how I can help you to go through your fertility treatment in the best possible way.